dReaMcaTcHeR….

ts highly true that as you get older you get to be more appreciative of the things  you have in life especially those  things that  are  important  to you -  like family, friends, work, etc., When I was younger I must say I was somewhat passive, carefree on my attitude and dealings with these valuables of mine. Talking about family and friends, of course I loved them right from the very start and thankful for their presence in my life but really, i believe there’s that turning point in your life wherein you feel you’ve truly matured and grown beyond your usual self  in terms of how  you  look at things and how you value and treat people, how you take in certain situations that come your way. To some people they believe their experiences have made them mature and to some they think its their age which made the difference. Anyhow, whether its the experience or the age, the point is, it has made a person to become the person that he is supposed to become. =D    

My family rules in my list. They should be honored and valued and if possible should not be given disappointments, huh! (but forgive me for being self-centered at times:( and not thinking on what they’re going to feel on some situations). At this point, thank God my parents are in good health and living a healthy and stress free life, my siblings are trying their best as well in making their lives better for their families, I am still very close to them and we are soo concerned of each other’s whereabouts. My great aunties are aging but they’re healthy and fine and hopefully things will always be better for them. Consequently, I always get a high feeling when I am with my nephews and nieces and seeing how they’ve grown through the years. Its so touching how their faces light up everytime they see "Auntie GoT" especially RiGo and how they want to be close to me all the time.Hehehe! Its cute and kilig everytime they choose to stay with me at home for a while than going home with their Papa (my Manong) and ask endless questions about just anything. Rigo is the sweetest, he’s my youngest nephew at 5, he cries sometimes when he misses me and when he doesn’t see me for weeks or a month and we are phone pals whether I am in Cebu or at home in Calatrava. Roji is my eldest nephew. he’s the youngest bro that I’ve always wished to have even until high school but never ever had. At his young age of 14, we can talk about anything - music, photography, fashion, movies, boys, girls, school, life, heartaches as in whatever. And well, Am-Am will always be special because she’s my very first niece and first love. She’s remarkabale and she’s the most humble person i’ve ever known…no airs at all. She’s my sweetie pie forever. Janjan is a responsible kid, he protects his sisters and he has a mind of his own at his age, Roe is a smart kid yet soo "bugay", she’s pretty but she is not aware of it and has no care in the world about how she looks at all hahaha and of course my darling IR, my youngest niece, is the most talkative and observant kid i know, she loves to sing and pray and she wants to be given attention all the time, ignore her for a minute or two and she’ll walk out hahaha! Whooah  I can only pray and hope that these young people which are very dear to me will continue to be loving and good. If only I can stop them from growing so I will have them as my babies for always. Sigh:(

My cousins are happy on their own and they are always there for me as well. We don’t get together as often as we used to do but I know they’re okay and they know too that I am gonna be okay. The sweet truth is that whatever happens I know we’ll always be there for each other. And boy, how i love ‘em… all of ‘em even with their shortcomings :)            

Just recently, I’ve had the chance to spend real bonding moments with friends…just last week i had a 4-day get together with my high school friends…it was a happy time. Sweet. And i realized Oh God it’s happening to me, things that I used to dream are now taking place slowly one at a time.  Hmmm, of course what I meant was spending time with my high school girl friends along with their kids and husbands when were not yet quite old and could still manage to "liad" for pictorial purposes, hahaha! Wherein we could still laugh about our innocence and impulsiveness way way back. Wherein no matter how much a person has changed thru the years and hasn’t changed either you know that you’d still love and accept her for who she is. It melted my heart knowing that whatever comes I would always have these faces with me and their husbands and kids too.

Then again, last night I met up with my "everyday girls" (Mang Ayereen, Diding & Titet), hahaha as what I fondly call them, at Robinsons for some chitchats and to check out Ayereen’s new set of burloloys. After half an hour of updates and "halungkitanay of the burloloys" we decided to have dinner at Mamang’s place so we can extend our bonding.  And I realized too that i am happy and at home with them that i can be with them at any time and at any place just as long as we want to. They’re home to me. You know where I can be at my best and at my worst and could still carry on a heartful laugh despite a not soo very good day at work.

Two months ago too, i’ve spent a well deserved evening with my college buddies who haven’t changed at all over the years. Same kabuangs and bahakhaks, same expressions, same similarities and differences until now. Same with my high school girlfriends, they too, have also their own families and they are happy which make me happy as well. Bonding with them again enriched me as if another part of myself came out and blended with them again after several years, but if you come to think of it on a serious note, you know that you are that ONE SAME person blending in with different kinds of personalities that have been part of you for years.

In the coming days, i will be laughing along with my Nursing igats and am quite excited about it, another set of friends who i adore and love too and who I can’t imagine as not part of me. They too have also brought out the best and the worst in me, accepting and taking me for what and who I am. We may be separated by distance but I know in my heart that our friendship and memories will keep us close.

I also have a lot of other friends whom I just can’t live without (like my Gurlash Angel, TanYa, Chloe, Marie Ann, Dai Jean & Dai Joan, Sugar, Day Fat, Botchoy, among others, who have always been loyal and thoughtful, who are willing to fight for me whatever it takes and who will never think twice of helping me out in the middle of the rain and even at the wee hours of the morning. They are also very much appreciated. I love them all soo much.

I just feel so lucky having all these people in my life…both family and friends.

It’s HAPPENING, true, slowly…accordingly,.but not all yet…there’s still a lot to come, a lot to unfold all at the right time, there’s still a lot to endure, to be happy about, to be experienced, a lot of realities to take in each day, both expected and unexpected, Only God knows what would it be and all i have to do is trust in His will, but the fact that things are happening the way I wanted and hoped them to be NOW is one good reason for me to be thankful for always. I can only pray that these things will stay the same for a long time, if not for always

I initially planned of waking up late this morning since
i didn’t get enough sleep for the past 2 nights but while still asleep i heard
some noise inside the room made by Titet who arrived from her graveyard duty. I
lazily opened my eyes and saw my good friend, Tatang from San Carlos, (who
stayed overnight at our crib) rising from bed. Then I remember, ooh its Father’s
Day and immediately thought of calling Papa dear to say my greetings.

He picked up the phone on its third ring and he
was almost laughing when he heard my voice and told me that he knew I was going
to call him:) I said my greetings with i love you of course (i always tell him
that and sometimes he answers back and sometimes he doesn’t heheh). Then he
asked me if I was going to talk to Mama when we’re done talking and then I said
nope,Pang this is your day so i shall talk ONLY with you, think ONLY about you
today  and then he laughed again, I was imagining Papa’s face while he was
laughing and i missed him ;{ haven’t seen him for 2 weeks as of this writing

While I was waiting for my turn in the restroom after
Tatang, I tried to go back to sleep but found myself thinking of Papa instead
and so I gave in to the trip down memory lane, heheh!

I’ve always believed that both the father and the son
feel the same pride and joy for having each other. But stories and experiences
say that it takes a son to become a father for him to realise and value the
worth of his father. Well, they said it all, so i think soo too

I am going to talk about my dear Papa Rudy since this is
his big day. I am writing this deliberately for him and i am hoping he can read
this but since he is not sooo "friendly, but trying hard to be friends with" the
internet and computer thingie for that matter, i’d better have this blog printed
and let him read this ;)         

As far as I can remember I’ve always loved being with him
and proud of his presence. When I was younger I remember how he would wake up in
the middle of the night when i had my occasional fever (i had a very low
resistance when I was younger and would acquire fever every now and then) and
gave me tepid sponge bath, how he would make me take my oddly flavored
suspensions and tablets in just a finger’s snap. He would take turns with
Mama in bringing me to sleep and how he would snugged me tightly everytime my
most ever patient male old attendant, Lolo Elizer Villaflor, would insert his
needle right through my veins for my IV or so called "dextrose" in those days
;(  He would never left me in the night until I dozed off to sleep and then he
would get some short sleeps then wake up again to give my scheduled medicines
for that particular wee hours of the morning. Can you imagine how sweet
Papa was?! :)  I can only think and be grateful that he is my father.

I can also remember how strict he was and how how he
would whip me with his leather belt everytime I did stupid things then …most
especially saying bad words heared from people and playmates, not telling the
truth and going out of the house without their permission, and even my big
sister ang big brother were not spared from his powerful belt hahaha, and they
even had their last kneeling session alongside whipping during their high school
years when they fought over trivial matters and Papa could not just stop them
from shouting at each other and fighting like cats and dogs ;)  But his being a
disciplinarian and obstinate could not lessen his points for being a truly
awesome father to me, to us. Its just his way and all those times while he was
spanking me and i was heartily crying through pain and fear, I never had a
single thought that he didn’t love me, never… all i thought that time was when
will he ever stop so i could stop crying and play again, hahaha!
    

He’s a loving father, very supportive infact, to the
point of making some of my school requirements and speeches in high school and
college. He would patiently wake me up at dawn so I could study when there were
scheduled periodicals and midterms. But the thing that always melts my heart is
when Papa would visit me in school, surprised ones or not and he did it even
until I reached college and up until my second job after my graduation from
college. He would tell me that he was dropping by my school and office everytime
he was in Cebu and yeah right even until my 2nd degree course in Nursing, he
would popped out along the corridors of WNU to pay me a quick visit
and would make short chitchats with my group of friends. And, i’ve always loved
the feeling of introducing him to my friends especially when they would tell me
that I looked like Papa Nyahaha, the simple joys of being a daughter as what
I call it

He did soo much for our family, he worked so hard to send
us all to school and provide us a decent living and a comfortable life to a
certain extent. He’s a smart one and he really knows what he wants. I am not
going to bring in into details all that he has achieved because that would
make me boastful and too proud but whatever they all are that he has achieved
under his name, still, the best of it all and the most important at that is his
being a great father to me, to all of us, if not the greatest.

I don’t ignore the fact that he has his flaws and
shortcomings as a father and as a person, well, we all do but still that
wouldn’t change the fact the he is my father and am proud of him and i love him
for who and what he is and i will never exchange him for any other father in the
world.

My Manang Rhoda would often tell me that that I was/am
luckier among us three (3) because I came in to the world when Papa started to
mellow, wherein he was no longer as strict as he was when they were my age,
wherein he was aging already and he was no longer that hard on things and well
maybe was more experienced when he and Mama had me in their early forties (40s).
Manang can say  that again but sure thing she also love Papa as much as i do,
even more i guess, haahhaaa!

He doesn’t say much, he only observes you from a
distance but the moment he says his piece, its final and it should warn you or
else you will truly regret why you ever did such thing. But i know how to
appease him and make "parayg" so there’s always a thing for reconsideration in
our house. He listens and he gives you the chance to explain your
side.

He’s very jolly and peace loving…he doesn’t get himself
into fights, he doesn’t smoke nor drink, one bottle of beer is enough for him
when he’s caught around social gatherings, but he knows how to turn down such
invites and that’s what i like about Papa too, he knows how to decline within
reason. He knows his priorities and drinking and buzzing around town are not
just his way, he’d rather spend long hours in his garden or read his latest
issue of Reader’s Digest or prepare for the coming CNHS Alumni reunion wherein
he’s the president for the past 22 years, no wonder I am also into reunions and
get togethers myself, hahaha!

Well, this is getting longer than i wanted it to be, the
truth is i just can’t stop writing about him hehhe. There’s still a lot to
describe, to give thanks and credit, to remember and reminisce but if I wouldn’t
stop myself i’d end up not sleeping again for another night, lol!

I am just thankful, happy that GOD gave me my PaPa Rudy.
I can only pray and hope that he stays healthy and at peace, good natured and
humble. My only dream for now is that God will give him more years to live and
that He can walk me down the aisle in butterfly kisses when that special day of
mine happens in which only GOD knows when.

I can see in his eyes and I can feel in him that he’s
happy and proud of me and what i have become and it melts my heart always to
know that i’ve made him happy and proud at some point in his life.

Thank you soo much Pang for all that you are to me, and
to us. You will always be my hero and you will always be a part of me wherever I
may go. Love you so much.

Papa is not only my father but he’s my friend and most of
all he’s my teacher and fan, who will never give up on me even if everybody will
turn their back on me

HAPPY HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to the most groovy DAD in the
world!

I chanced upon this quote recently which is authored by Mother Teresa and I could not  help not to feel mushy…. of course it could mean a lot of things to anyone but to me it only means — I AM SOO BLESSED  to the point of shouting to the whole world how blessed i am and that i have no reason to COMPLAIN even just a bit

On a serious note, can you imagine the physical anatomy of our heart which is just about the size of a fist yet it demonstrates a more powerful punch? Isn’t it amazing that a tiny muscle inside our body contributes or is rather responsible for all the emotions we are feeling and have expressed to others?! Oh yeah i know it’s not exactly the HEART which manifests all these emotions we have each day hehehe, it’s actually a part of the limbic sysytem of our BRAIN, particularly the Hippocampus which make us feel. Myth has it that the heart is the seat of the emotions but the truth is, it is a pump to circulate the blood throughout the body and only contributes to the emotions by sending oxygenated blood to our brain cells. So you better keep this in mind that if you want to gain someone’s affection you may ask Cupid to shoot them through the head rather than the heart! Lol!    

Anyhow,  I am delighted with the fact and definitely thankful that my heart gives me a lot of reasons to be happy. For one and the most important at that, my heart allows me to feel all kinds of emotions starting from the moment I was conceived inside Mama’s womb and had only placenta as my trusted buddy which protected me in all kinds of harm hahaha!  My heart never gives up, for the past 29 years it has felt its ups and downs, it’s "oohhss-ahhhss" as well as its "ggrrrs and waahhhhs" but it has remained strong and pounding. So many people reside in my heart and they entwine with the tons of emotions which stay there as well.  Each day i get to experience different things and with such i get to react certain emotions too. I just feel so lucky that i have this gift each day, the gift to feel for people and things, and to appreciate and be thankful for what i have in life, especially to those people who have reside in my heart for how many years now, others may have decided to go and prefer to linger in others’ hearts but still it would not change the fact that they were ones in my heart for a time or so. In my high and low moments, my heart was there to pamper and remind me that i deserve to have fun in the same way that it made me move on and get going again after being crushed Come to think of it, life’s twists and turns are good for the heart because it gives variation and challenge, the drive to get going and keep pumping and throbbing hehehe.

I cannot really choose nor decide what signatures to delete or preserve… even anticipate what’s coming ahead of me but it wouldn’t really matter anyway, the fact that people, events, and even things lingered in my heart for a while or much longer is enough for me to be happy and thankful because they have touched my heart in any way. Indeed, i am BLESSED…the signatures in my heart may increase or decrease in number through the years, the intensity may overwhelm its capacity and even shake its structure but i wouldn’t really mind because as long as i have my heart with me I can exist in any dimension and I will never be LOST, not even for a minute or two. 

So let’s should take care of our HEARTS sweetheart… it’s the ONLY one we have :)  Heart transplants are way expensive, hahah!

[posted for CST-R baTcH '95 account]…

      Gee, the fesTive 10th year reuNioN nigHT as weLL as the sLeePLess nYts prior to that is oVeR … iT’s 2006, anoTher year unFoLds…reunion dues have been seTTled, pics have been processed, batchmates have gone back to their respective locations, life’s bacK to norMaL…buT one thiNg will remain … the history of batch 1995 will continue day by day, year to year. No matter how faR we go, how thinGs will change in our lives.. one thing will remain constant - we will alwaYs beLong to CST-R baTch 1995. In a year or so, pLans will be laid out for another get together, that will go oN and on..& I won’t be surPrised if I happen to cross paths with a batchmate & he/she would ask me wHen’s gonna be the next reunion & sTuff alike. It’s just a part of human natuRe…that "overwHelminG" feeLing of being home again, being with the arMs & company of oLd frieNds, oLd places, old memories. We may have moved on & and are happy with our lives but it will always be someThiNg that we aLwaYs look forward to & look back with a smiLe in mY LiPs, to some peRhaPs, with teaRs in their eYes & to aLL wiTh foNdness in our heaRTs.

StaY with the feeLiNg,batcHmaTes. ‘Till our next get together. God bLess us all.

- gOLdie

         EverydaY my ceLLphone aLarm beePs at exactLy 7am, the soNg "SANTERIA" (by Sublime, which is my alarm tune these days), keeps on playing & playing ’til I finally get my hands to put it off & go back to sleep. After a while I would feel the heat of the sun on my knees or shoulders signaling me to get my butt moving & sTart my daY. I say my morning praYer then peep thru mY window what’s happening in my suRRoundiNg. Hey iT feels great to see the sun shining brightly & thinking of another beautiful day ahead of me. Each day brings new hope, new experiences, new promises to all of us. On some mornings though, instead of a radiant sunrise, it’s a heavy downpour that awakes me & usually bring me back to sleep ( of course, when it rains all we wanna do is to cuddle up in bed, sleep & snore):p

     These past weeks, i’ve got practically nothing IMPORTANT to do, i mean in terms of duties, appointments or tasks. Actually, this is the first time in years as far as I can remember that I have the chance to enjoy or savor the days of doing really nothing. Nothing for me means - no monthly reports to submit, no memos to prepare, no phonecalls to take, no field work, no meetings to keep me busy, no term papers or NCPs to cause me headache, no duties @ Silay & CLMMRH, no emergency calls 1 hour before the time to be at the DR/OR to finish my required scrubs & all those stuff which made me busy & occupied back in high school, college & even graduate studies. It’s like finally getting my much awaited & long overdue vacation leave after months of postponement.

       My day is usually spent doing some household chores, paying bills, doing some errands, going to San Carlos, going to the nearby internet cafe, spending time @ my cousins & aunts’ houses to chica2x, reading novels or some Nursing books if i feel like it heheh, in the same way it usually ends with lots of eating, watching tv, listening to music from different genre, writing anything that comes to mind, telebabad with Iris or Manang… then sLeeping beauty is lost in her sleep.:0)      

        What’s nice is I get to do all these things in the comfort of my town, my home, my room. I’m happy that I get to spend time with my parents & be of help to them in any way after years (since graduating from high school) of being away from home - CEbu to study college & work after then with the change of career path Bacolod to study Nursing then back to Cebu again to review. Going home only on weekends if not too busy, but oftentimes only once a month & spending only some days or a week at most during breaks & holidays. I’m likewise happy that I eat almost every meal with them, see my niece & nephew go to school & thereunto remembering the days when I was their age.

         With the plight I am into now, with our Board Exam result still withheld by PRC for almost 2 mos now,(onLy God knows when it’s going to be finally released) makes me appreciate ironically the chance of having to sit back, take a break, ponder on a lot of things & take each day as it comes, allowing God to direct whatever HIs plans for me. I believe that everything has a purpose thus, I am not losing hope that soon there will be an end to the burden that I am carrying now along with my friends & schoolmates from West Negros. We’ve worked so hard & sacrificed a lot to earn our degree & taking the board exam was not a joke. Almost everyday, there’s an update from the school, PRC or CHED stating it will be released this week, next week, but days went by, weeks ended & another month sets in but still NO results. Anyhow, this turn of events has also brought me back home .I get to satisfy myself with the simple & little things I do at home, yet meaningful ‘coz it plays a vital role to my existence. 

      THe sun rises, the sun sets - it’s a continuous cycle everyday & I never forget to appreciate the beauty & the gift each day briNgs to me. I know as long as the sun shiNes & the rain pours, life would alwaYs be beautifuL. Weeks from now I will embark into another uNderTaking but always, I would be thankful that I get to experience this moment & chance that I have now of being "HOME". Now and always, - iT feeLs great to be hoMe, aGaiN. :0)

1. What time do I get up?  =  between 7:30-8:00 am

2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? =  wiT my tsuNg, LurviN, ‘coz it wouLd be soo fun laughing to his jokes :p

3. Gold or silver? = well, siLver even if my name suggests preference to gold,hehe

4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? = doN’T giVe up on us wit waNg & kaT = gosh, that wuz sweet (ewww!)

5. What is your favorite TV show? = not that of a boobtube faNatic, reaLLy…

6. What do you have for breakfast? = anYthiNg light with fruiTs

7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? = without batting an eyelash, with a BIG-UGLY- RAT! (it would lead me to death, promise)

8. What/who inspires you? = God, famiLy, frieNds, moving stories & experiences of pipol, triaLs, success

9. What is your middle name? = MARGAHA

10. Beach, City or Country?  =  CounTry

11. Favorite ice cream? =  wouLdn’T excHange for anythiNg my "fruiT saLad"  fLavor

12. Butter, plain or salted popcorn?  = saLted

13. Favorite color? = acqua bLue, purPLe…but I guess COLORFUL is mY taG

14. What kind of car do you drive? = i don’t have a car

15. Favorite sandwich? = saNdeR’s in bcLd

16. Characteristic you despise? =   uggh, a LOT! esp., arrogaNt peePs

17. Nickname?(s) = goLdie, goLdz, guDaNg, auNTie goT,TiNg

18. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?  = BaHaMas

19. What color is your bedroom? =  RED

20. Favorite brand of clothing? = noThiNg in paRTicuLar

21. Where would you retire to? =  i stILL haveN’t decided  where…

22. Favorite day of the week? =  Saturdays

23. What did you do for your last birthday? = Had a pizza parTy @ Da ViNci Pizza in CeBu with my NursiNg buDs,cuzN rox, emiat, my sis, nephews & papa E.. It wuz yummmyy!!!

24. Where were you born? = San CArlos City

25. Favorite sport to watch = soccer, badminTon, basKetbaLL, billiaRds

26. Coke or Pepsi? = CoKe

27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? = night owl, a MUTANT, bwahahaha!

(ey, i stop until heRe ‘coz my aGe is the same with the last number,hehe.

goldie…just the mere sound of my name instantly brings bright & bold colors,multi-colored or shall i saY rainbow colors, colorful, prinTed, floral & all those larger than life illustration/vision - uhmm well, according to my friends & acquaintances…it’s kind of a permanent association to me, hehhe.

it’s just soo me…i juz could not resist the beauty of colors..& all that comes with it (not "colors" literally of course, i mean COLORS in all forms, in all kinds with the eNormiTy of the word) ey, it’s a part of my existence..oftentimes though, i ponder what if it’s the other way around…like my preference & interest would have been on the subdued ones,the less attractive,.i guess it really doesn’t matter as long as I know how to make, play & live with the colors that are all uniquely crafted in me…in each one of us.

Now & always - colors entwined..in me..in u..in all of us. 

Start coloring your world.

Keep coloring your world.